life...finally

Yesterday was a good day for life. More like wild life i guess. I was sitting outside Chelsea's house with her family enjoying the warm sun and breeze when I got a call from my buddy Corey. He explained he needed my expert advice on how to get a squirrel out of your heater. Being the beast tamer I am I jumped at the opportunity to help.

Chels and I headed over to my mom's house to gather supplies for the task at hand. But before we made it home I spotted another creature begging to be captured. A cold blooded serpent was sticking it's head out onto the pavement halfway down my road contemplating crossing the road and I insisted Chelsea turn the car around so I could catch my first snake of the year.

I got out and soon realized this was no common Garter Snake. This was a Northern Water Snake! I hadn't seen one since a four foot beast slithered out from under a pile of trash at the end of my driveway seven or eight years ago. I quickly grabbed the creature by the tail and attempted to grab the head while it trashed and tried to escape all the while shitting all over the place (which is a defense mechanism snakes use to not be eaten). It sang it's teeth into me at least two times before I managed to subdue him/her.

Once I got back to my house with the beast I showed my brothers and proceeded to go straight into animal planet mode and started snapping pictures like I was one of those crazy A-holes who photograph ten foot cobras an what not. This is what I got:



So next it was off to Corey's house to solve the mystery of the hiddin Squirrel. I could bore you with the details of how we managed to finagle the little guy out but all I will say is that it involved a lot of bad planning and finally ended with Corey reaching his hand into the furnace and grabbing the thing. He was a lot cuter and less vicious than I imagined. He even let us pet him after a while! Here is the little Red Squirrel corey affectionately named Dale: