turkey love in the woods

Have you ever heard turkeys making love? Well yesterday I thought I did.

It all started with an innocent trip to kensington metro park with my trusty swinging partner C.K. We went to our sooper dooper secret swinging spot in the middle of the woods where we knew no one would disturb us. First we decided we would go chill in our even more secret flippin fantastical hiddin over grown baseball field and dream about what we would be when we grow up. Before we even made it there we ran across a pack of wild turkeys who looked slightly horny and annoyed that we had walked in on their party, but they were blocking our path and we had to get to our destination. They reluctantly moved to the side and let us pass. That's when I busted out this little tid bit of info I had picked up that turkeys actually sleep in trees. Everybody thinks they can't fly but they totally can! Just not really far...but far enough to sleep in trees. C.K. was skeptical of my source as always and I assured her it was true. If you don't believe me either, check this shizz out:



So while we were there we heard odd noises from the woods that sounded like loud clapping noises. We searched high and low for a source and found nothing! I finally came to the conclusion that it must be those sex hungry turkeys we saw earlier doing the dirty and getting WAY too into it. The only obvious logical answer.

As we were leaving the park to walk up to the car we heard another noise from the baseball field and looked over to see whole trees rustling, as if T-rex himself was about to bust through the opening and grab me up like that guy from JP while he was hiding in the bathroom. My next thought was "Oh man! I bet that was a turkey flying up into the tree to roost for the night. I gotta see this!" So C.K. and I bolted back to the field to see these birds in action. As I neared the field I realized this was no turkey roosting...A giant tree had fallen right in the middle of the field! Right where I had suggested we should sit and ponder earlier!?! WE WERE ALMOST CRUSHED ALIVE! Okay maybe not but it is crazy to think we could have been. So that whole time I thought I was hearing turkey sex, I was actually hearing this monstrosity of a tree cracking and popping ready to fall at any minute. We thanked the tree for blessing us with the invitation to it's funeral and headed home for some chocolate and apples to apples.

The End